Now That You’re “Listening”

Here we are again. It’s been almost 3 years since I wrote this article. It was one of the few times in my life I made a real attempt to sound the alarm on racism. It all started with a lovely yoga retreat to Sayulita, Mexico that I went on with some friends at the end of October 2016. We went the week before Donald Trump was elected president and we took the time to forget about all the troubles of the world. We laughed, we drank, we did yoga, we swam, we skinny dipped, we ate delicious food, we had great conversation, and we loved up on each other.

But when we returned reality smacked us in the face, some harder than others. And by some, I mean me. Because of course, I was the only black person on the yoga retreat, just like I’m often the only black person in the yoga room or in any place of healing. But that’s a separate article on why wellness of every kind — in person, online, in apps — has failed people of color.

So back to my story. We get back to the states and a few days later, reality smacks us in the face. Trump wins the election as I knew he would. I had been trying to play it off and telling myself that surely human beings couldn’t be this dark, they couldn’t be this oblivious to what was actually happening, but deep down I knew that white people were in fact that oblivious. I had watched it my whole life as the only black person in a sea of white spaces.

So he’s elected and as any black person who grew up in white spaces can tell you, the white tears just started to pour in. From all over. White people, especially women, couldn’t believe it. They cried. They said the world was over. They said they couldn’t believe America. They asked me how we got here. I, of course knew, but none of them actually paused to listen to my response. They talked over me and cried “woe is me.” I rolled my eyes and buried my pain like I was so accustomed to doing. The few that did listen to me (kind of) were ironically white males. I told them without mincing my words that this was the beginning of the end. White america had a choice of how they wanted it all to go down, how they wanted this country that they stole to evolve and rebuild and they specifically chose to burn it all down. The people I told this to verbatim said “wow, I didn’t realize you were such a fatalist.”

And now here we are. It’s all burning down. And white people literally can’t even believe it. But we can.

You see, we’ve been talking about race until we’re blue in the face while you turned the other cheek. You said it wasn’t that bad, that we were imagining it, that you yourself weren’t responsible for slavery and that we needed to get over it. Some of you are amazingly still saying this. You didn’t listen to us. You don’t listen to us. You tried to control a conversation of which you know nothing about. We tried to educate you. You stopped talking to us. Gently and then loudly, peacefully and more violently, but still you would not listen. You chose to end the friendship instead. Occasionally something dark would happen to trigger the piece of humanity that no matter how hard you try to kill it will not die in you so you’d pay attention for a few days. You’d text me that you’re sorry. Kind of like right now. You pay attention, you take in the horror, you tell me your heart is breaking, you vow to do better and read books and proclaim yourself an ally, which is so fucking ignorant by the way.

You cannot become an ally overnight. You simply do not have the vocabulary, education, or communication skills to be blind to a continual and relentless genocide that has killed black people for over 400 years in one moment, and then suddenly become an alleged ally on the frontlines trying to stop the genocide in the next moment. It simply defies the basic principles of logic. It cannot be done. So please, I implore you, stop declaring yourself an ally when you are only 10 pages into reading “White Fragility,” which is a lovely book written by a white woman — meaning you’re still not actually listening to us, you’re listening to yourselves. And in doing so, you’re perpetuating capitalism (modern day colonization) by filling the pockets of this white lady who basically read some of the writings of black people for you and translated them to a language you could kind of listen to because a white person spoke it.

The writings and the knowledge are there. They always have been. Truly since the 1800s and actually even before that. You can find them at your local library and you can even google them and find essays and letters by all the great thinkers. You can even buy them. They are just there. Waiting for you. Talking about the same genocide that we find ourselves in today. Highlighting the same problems that we are dealing with today. Proposing similar solutions that we are proposing today. It’s all right there. It’s been there your entire life. You’ve never felt the need to look. You’ve never felt the need to listen. You’ve never felt it was worth your attention. Nowadays when you see tv shows with black people and other people of color featured you change the channel because “that show seems like it’s not really for me.” That’s another verbatim quote.

And that’s the very core of it. That belief. That white centering is the core of the problem and why no matter how many times we sound the alarm to try to warn you of what’s coming it falls on deaf ears. The belief is this: anything that’s not white isn’t for me. But damn does history say otherwise. Everything non-white has been for the white.

This can get confusing for you all so try to stay focused as I say it again:

Everything non-white has been for the white.

Every building, every economy, every education system, every housing area, every road, every product on the market, all marketing, all commercials, all television, all music, all entertainment. Even when we make it for us, by us, you still make it about you (that’s called cultural misappropriation. Please follow any Kardashian for a masterclass).

But today, you have vowed to listen. Actually, you’ve vowed to listen for the next 5 days. On social media at least. And let’s be honest, you’ve basically been shamed into listening. You don’t really want to do it for whatever reason: it makes you too emotional, it’s too painful to look at, you’re embarrassed, you think you know better. But for branding purposes so you don’t get labeled a “bad” white person, you agree to post the black square on your Instagram and pretend to listen. And maybe some of you actually will. So for those of you somehow just joining us, whose eyes and ears are finally open for whatever reason, here’s what’s happening once and for all:

We are getting free. And when we do that, the foundation of this country necessarily falls. Because everything in the country was built on our backs. Everything. So when we get free, the foundation falls. And you can stay in your cages like tamed animals afraid to venture out into the wild, or you can get free too. That’s it. That’s the truth. The truth is that our path to freedom is the same damn path. It’s just that we are the ones that know how to get there, not you. Because you may have been the architects of this system, but you didn’t build it. That means you have no idea where the escape routes are. That’s why you must learn to listen. We are trying to show you the path to freedom. The path to your freedom. We are trying to free you from your own cage that you told us to build you and then you willfully crawled into. But you’re too afraid to leave your cage, even with the door wide open.